Kardakouk Cuisine: Difference between revisions

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;Blended Flamingo Slurpee

:A new product by your favourite Szalamandra Corporation is here to whet your appetite! Our famous slurpees are already a fan favourite but after a test run at Automacon 372 we have a BRAND! NEW! FLAVOUR!!!

:''A new product by your favourite Szalamandra Corporation is here to whet your appetite! Our famous slurpees are already a fan favourite but after a test run at Automacon 372 we have a BRAND! NEW! FLAVOUR!!!

:Introducing Blended Flamingo Slurpee. Fresh from the newly reintegrated planet of Jääaika the blended flamingo slurpee is an exquisite taste produced from a modified extract from flamingo blood. Now I’m sure many of you have heard about how the fauna on Jääaika is not exactly edible. Well thanks to our expert researchers we have found just the right chemical formulas to extract the exquisite taste of this bird to sate your appetite. This breakthrough is currently only effective for making flamingo blood edible when combined with some minor ingredients from Kardakouk but our researchers are hopeful that soon the whole sector can taste wondrously wacky Jääaikan cuisine!

:Introducing Blended Flamingo Slurpee. Fresh from the newly reintegrated planet of Jääaika the blended flamingo slurpee is an exquisite taste produced from a modified extract from flamingo blood. Now I’m sure many of you have heard about how the fauna on Jääaika is not exactly edible. Well thanks to our expert researchers we have found just the right chemical formulas to extract the exquisite taste of this bird to sate your appetite. This breakthrough is currently only effective for making flamingo blood edible when combined with some minor ingredients from Kardakouk but our researchers are hopeful that soon the whole sector can taste wondrously wacky Jääaikan cuisine!''

:Legal Notice: The official Szalamandra Corporation Blended Flamingo Slurpee is trademarked by the Szalamandra Corporation and does not contain any of the hallucinogenic properties found in much of Jääaikan flaura. Any such slurpees being sold are not only illegal but also created in a process that has not been properly ascertained to remove the harmful elements of Jääaikan flaura. As such if any slurpees have produced any hallucinations or other psychiatric effects please report the incident to the local authorities and visit a doctor.

:Police Report from Bernard 1 refueling station:

Attending a report from local port authorities the officers on the scene apprehended 3 members of the Cult of Bernard displaying unruly behaviour. It was found that these individuals, 2 Queltl and a human, had been ingesting a modified version of the blended flamingo slurpee. Several of the ingredients had been replaced and, instead of suitable Kardakouk plants, contained plants from Jääaika. As such the normally benign (if flavourful) drink produced hallucinogenic properties as seen typically indulged in by the Phrontisteries on Jääaika. The individuals were detained without incident but they remained highly vocal about ‘the worms in their brains’ and how the officers needed to ‘stop glowing so much’.

:Attending a report from local port authorities the officers on the scene apprehended 3 members of the Cult of Bernard displaying unruly behaviour. It was found that these individuals, 2 Queltl and a human, had been ingesting a modified version of the blended flamingo slurpee. Several of the ingredients had been replaced and, instead of suitable Kardakouk plants, contained plants from Jääaika. As such the normally benign (if flavourful) drink produced hallucinogenic properties as seen typically indulged in by the Phrontisteries on Jääaika. The individuals were detained without incident but they remained highly vocal about ‘the worms in their brains’ and how the officers needed to ‘stop glowing so much’.

:It took around 8 hours for the detained to return to functioning at normal levels. This is a slightly longer duration than the typical recorded for intoxication from Jääaikan plants. It is believed by the doctors who attended the detainees that the flamingo blood worked to enhance the effects of the hallucinogenic plants. It is advised that this discovery is to be kept under wraps to avoid criminal interest in the birds and the possibility of overhunting. The population of Jääaika is not large enough to protect the entire planet's population of flamingo birds should criminal elements take an interest.