Kardakouk: Difference between revisions

Come one! Come All! Behold the mighty and fabulous attractions of Szalamandra! The light of the Hela system. With rides for the amphibious and terrestrial alike the wonders never cease at the pearl of the oceans! When the nightmarish reign of the barbarous Jailors ended there was clearly only one solution to ail the generations of suffering like no other…. A paradise city! A place to soothe the ills for all who care to come. With the greatest minds and industries of Sejtblokk put to work the construction may have taken decades but your delight will last forever!

 

Ups and downs and spin it all arounds! Rise and plummet on the variety of roller coasters that make Szalamandra so thrilling! From the Tidal Twister to the Shocking Shoal Saga, the Hair-raising Hieronyrush to the Dagon Dive! Those and much more including the pièce de résistance, the tremendous Breach Broil Bonanza! Drilled up into the crust itself feel the wild ride as it dips down into the oceans, all around the crust interior and up into the glorious light of the Hela system! Brief though it may be, the ride catches the uninterrupted view of the barren wasteland of outer karakouk! Bathe in the knowledge that under barren wastes lie the spawning pool of life in the face of oppression! All while high on adrenaline! (or your biological equivalent).

 

The Seas of Kardakouk however are not all calm and tranquil…. Perfect for the daredevil! With pod and submersible options for you terrestrial folk and open water availability for you guileful gilled guests. Whirlpool Rapids are a variety of high speed water currents and water vortexes. They have been mapped precisely to calculate the craziest and most outlandish routes possible to feel the power of the ocean. Experience this twisting avenue of adventure and excitement and prepare for even the worst situations you may find yourself in out in the wide oceans! (Please follow the guidelines on recommended routes according to your level of experience as injury and nausea are always a danger and we’re tired of cleaning up your bodily fluids).

 

Whirlpool Rapids too slow for your tastes? Need to go FAST? Well the Water Shoot turns the speed up to 11. Highly pressurised vortexes that provide an exhilarating journey through an underwater ride of a lifetime! Feel the adrenaline or biological equivalent pulse through your veins or biological equivalent! Face the varying challenge levels including the ultimate level that like the Breach Broil Bonanza travels up above the crust and over the mantle of Kardakouk.

(Note: other than Tar’et all guests are required to use the provided reinforced submersibles)

 

Plunge deep into the abyss! Feel the pressure of the great deep and revel in the fear of the loss of gravity without the danger of a hull breach. Delve from the highest point in the ocean to its very floor all in one fell swoop. And to relax and recover enjoy the miraculous sights in a slow buoy up to the top once again, with a wondrous and unobstructed view of all the varied life on your pleasurable return to the ride beginning. Enjoy the variety of biomes from the seafloor to the wide open ocean. From the seaweed forests to the schools of fish, all colours of the rainbow.

 

We all know the horrors of the Jailors and the cruelty they brought upon this world. But it is important that the next generation are rightly informed and properly terrified! Combining education and the basic prey instinct, sharpen both mind and nerves! Taken from the depths and propelled to the site of Szalamandra we have an authentic cell block! I know, I know, that is hardly surprising on Kardakouk. But fret not dear friends! For not only do we have a cell block but we have recreated what was sealed inside! Rest assured there have been no accidents there for decades and legally the Corporation was not responsible for any of the ones that have occurred there. So come one come all and test your courage! And perhaps learn something too!

 

Complex and confounding! Implemented by the famous corralite artist Yeo Bulwa Yilton this artisanal architecture was grown entirely naturally and shaped using specialised techniques trademarked by the Szalamandra Corporation! A Fully 3D maze to test your mind and memory! Coming in all colours and sizes this wondrous weave of tantalising twists will keep you occupied for hours! Suitable for all ages with different graded levels for those who simply want a beautiful swim through an ornate maze or those who truly want a challenging mental competition.

(Note: emergency beacons are provided and by agreeing to enter the maze you agree to use said beacon to alert staff when personal oxygen levels reach 1 hour remaining, the Szalamandra Corporation takes no legal responsibility for any deaths caused by people not following this rule)

 

Not only is Szalamandra a delightful sight to behold but a delight for the stomach as well! With the oceans as a wild and sumptuous bounty just waiting to be captured and boiled or stewed or sauteed or grilled or baked or toasted or teleported or…. Let me get back on track. Kardakouk food is delicious! And fresh food is the most delicious of all. So what better than an expedition to hunt for lunch or dinner! For a small fee we will equip you with all you need to hunt and obtain a taste of Kardakouk. A reminder to all off-worlders, your guns almost certainly won’t work underwater and the Szalamandra Corporation is not responsible for any damages caused by your attempts to do so on a hunting trip. Remember for a small additional fee a local expert can come with your hunting party and use their invaluable skills to provide assistance to the hunt and all but guarantee success!

 

Enjoyed a long and exciting day? Wanting to rest and relax and perhaps take home a living souvenir? Walk among the feather stars and experience their serene beauty as they waft and crawl around you. Thoroughly harmless the younglings can play with them to their heart's content. For a minimal fee you can rent a fishing net and have the opportunity to grab your very own feather star to take home with you. Easy to keep and even easier to catch from ‘escaping’. Fun for all the family!

(Note: Szalamandra Corporation takes no responsibility for the well being of feather stars outside of Szalamandra owned waters. It is also advised not to take them off world without proper preparation.)

 

Are the younglings a handful? Getting so excited for their dream trip but leaving you wishing for a break? But hark! they are but spawnlings, they cannot go on dangerous rides. Fear not weary travelers for The Tully Monster carousel is fun for all ages. Gentle beasts of mild temperament form the basis for a relaxing ride that is neither too boring nor too out of hand for the younglings. A safe environment allows you to take a break whilst the younglings frolic and enjoy the company of these curious creatures. All within easy view from outside the ride to make sure your little ones are kept out of mischief.

 

For those of you who feel the endless berth of the oceans too… spacious, the wonders of Szalamandra are your solution. Enter the wide variety of cave systems built into the walls the city is attached too. Squeeze your way through narrow passages, Behold the wide and beautiful hollow caverns, be amazed by the splendorous view of the sparkling tunnels paved with gems. Truly a sight to behold, a natural beauty to remind you of the supreme environment Kardakouk provides. For the truly adventurous of you there is even the opportunity to delve further and explore genuinely unexplored systems. Be the first to discover new life! ….or a terror from the deep.

 

Travel is always an integral part of any vacation. Planning takes ages and the stress is always on the mind. But fear not! For the famous Szalamandra Eel Taxis is here to help! Put up your weary appendages and take a ride on the Electric Eel Taxi Service (EETS). These glorious creatures make travel throughout the city a breeze and are a staple of the city. Constantly travelling in the local area nothing in Szalamandra can’t be reached by their enterprising handlers. And for a premium price they’ll even take you to other cities on the planet! Convenience at its finest! You probably won’t even need to worry about bleed effects from the eels! That being said, please report any unexpected electrical activity to the driver or Szalamandra Corporation employee.

(Note: Szalamandra Corporation takes no responsibility for adverse effects from soliciting unlicensed eel handlers.)